In my life, I guess you could say, I was a sinner or unbeliever. I honestly, had a different view than others and still do to this day. Though I read my Bible more often and study more cultures now that I have started woman hood at age 25 years old. Married right before the age of 25 years old, I married the right man for the right reasons. I wasn't alone in doing this but I did not have my mother or other family members help with my decision. I turned to the Jerusalem Bible year 1966 copyrighted. A church website lead me to buy that addition of the bible. Inside was the last name of my family tree, a missing link to who I am.
Since marriage, it has been very strange learning my place as a woman. With my husband being a believer, I had to learn what it meant within the bindings of this bible, to be a woman, to be a wife, and to be a mother. I learned how to forgive and forget what has harmed me so I can move on and be blessed with no pain. Yet, some days is harder than the others. I feel God is playing with my life at times, and though I feel that way, I laugh with God because it was a funny part of my life. I laugh during it and after the bad or good event. I guess I learned to see everything as a blessing because after so long now, all I see are blessings.
I feel God's warmth in my heart and I feel the holy mother carry me when I need the extra help from a mother. I feel protected my the angels God leads. I feel safe holding my bible and saying goodnight Lord of lords. Though do I go to church. No I do not...yet. I have never found a church that made me feel home. I finally found my way to my husband and to the Lord of lords. So I wait and see what God has waiting for me when I move. I wait to see what blessings rain on me for waiting and being calm.
My current reading is Ecclesiasticus and then I am not sure what is next. God tells me what I must learn next for he is my teacher of this world. I love my bible, it tells me all I need to know when I make it relate to my current world I live in. Though this book is very old and written in a old time which has not been forgotten but isn't around no more. This world is much different and richer of new technology and medicine. I never understood why people like my mother hate technology then would buy the nicest laptop of the time she got it and then destroy when another can use it. I try to not be bitter but how can I handle such things I ask God. How Can I handle this small minded thinking? I was told many chapters later by reading all of Ecclesiasticus I know, to petty them and pray for them. For they do not get to enjoy this world for they are stuck and need prayer.
I can only pray and not judge but it is hard not to judge. Since it is the easiest thing to do is be fast to judge. Now a days no one thinks before speaking, tweeting, facebooking, and posting. I pray for those who have depression from not getting what they need. I pray for those to learn to love who and what they have within themselves. Why? maybe one day this place would be a better place. No matter the views, maybe if we all hoped for the best and saw the best in everyone we will only see the best and then try to do our best.