Saturday, August 13, 2016

My Love for the Lord of Lords

In this life God is known by many names. Just like the devil for which God made. I love everything the Lord has made, even the devil. How can I be happy that the devil was made? The devil helps us become pure by not listening to his evil deeds. Though we don't hear God, we always have evil things pop in our path. So it is respectful for me to say, the devil has made me closer to God, The Lord of Lords.

I never liked the evil deeds given to me. Some I took, some I ran from, but all in all I learned from them. I found myself running to the Lord begging for away to help myself stop the thoughts, all the evil thoughts. Even depression, and bad memories the lord help me through. I still live with these thoughts but I am able to control them. Like mages in a video game can control their powers, I can control my emotions, but it takes years of work.

Is it weird that someone can turn to God? Weird that they made large changes in their life to the point where no one can believe it? This does happen, to only make you fall back into the old path for which you RAN FROM. Remember it was a personal choice to run and seek God. Personal choice we all make at one point or another. God even says HE IS THE LORD OF LORDS. Meaning maybe there are other Godlike things out there, but God is above them all no matter what.

In our history of different belief, there has always been the top rules of the Gods or Goddess. Weird that most stories are the same but different. Why can't it be the Holy Father and Holy Mother with a bunch of friends? Don't the Angels have the powers of heaven and call God when they need Godlike power? Maybe the stories told to me were wrong or maybe it is written on my heart correctly or missed place?

Every book says Lord of Lords in some form. All of them state the all mighty one is the one and only. So could it be the same God? Same Lord of Lords? Since he is known by many names, which he states within the bible himself in all the bibles. Could he be Odin from the vikings show? Could he be the holy Father and holy ghost? Could he Zeus God of all Gods? Seems weird that they could be all connected. Maybe I am crazy...right?

My Fur Babies

Let me tell you little bit about my fur babies. Yes, instead of kids at age 25 before I am ready, I got fur babies. My husband and I have three cats, fish and ghost shrimp, dog, and bunny. They all play with each other in some way. Either the cats looking at the fish tank or running around with the bunny. The dog even loves to play with the bunny.

My oldest fur babies is my Alaskan Malamute, Tiffany, she is 8 years old and wonderful. Always loyal and loving since she was taken care of and trained well. I had Tiffany before I met my husband but then when I met him we thought to get a Korat named Leona. Of course the following year Luna got a sister, Burmilla named Starla. Tiffany is very jelly dog sadly once we got the second cat. Then over the years we have two hamster grow to old age. How much I love them.

This year we added two new fur babies to our group. Tiffany of course is wondering why I have so many new babies when she wants to be the only one. We added British Short-hair named Grey and a Mini Loop Bunny named Emily aka BunBunz. All the cats play with the bunny and Tiffany doesn't mind them at all. All are girls but Grey of course and well who knows with the fish and shrimp.

Having them all makes it harder to move into places. Like my husband made Leona his service animal and of course Tiffany is my service dog. Having all these pets, make it hard to rent a home until we come up with the money to buy our own place. As much as I take care of them not all land lords are happy with a lot of pets at all.

I know that isn't fair but I know it is because hording isn't something any landlord wants to deal with. I do feel I am hording some pets. If I get anymore someone needs to call the animal control to have me reviewed. During this review, you cats must have all their shots, clean cat boxes, your house cannot smell of piss and shit, the air must not have a high level of sickness, all pets should be cares for and loved plus trained of course. Even the fish tank has to stay clean or it smells like someone just took a shit and never flushed in five days but kept shitting in it.

All these small things matter, from there teeth to their nails. Having animals is taking care of a life forms. These animals are not for us to have but to care for from the good bible says this in my 1966 Jerusalem Bible. Yes I always say what bible I am currently reading because this way I can be quoted stuff to correct me or for others to look it up.

I love my fur babies enough to even read to them at night once my husband is sleeping. I open my bible and read out loud to them. It is a good habit to get use to doing since one day my husband and I will adopt or be blessed by a child given to us by God. I still feel I will never be able to have kids physically. I love all children, I want to mother them all and love them all. It is not my place to do so yet. So for now, my fur babies are what I Need in my life.

I know never get big dog again. Once Tiffany passes on, maybe I will get a small dog instead of a big dog. I rather do 5 lbs than 100 lbs. Too hard for my physically to take on big dog again. Maybe if it was super trained before I got it but I rather do a little dog next. It is good to know your limit to pets because of course I am maxed out and it is hard. Thousand bucks min each year on yearly shots, plus 200 bucks in food and prehealth care stuff per month. It is a lot for one family to take on. Shows one day we may be ready for a kid or not. I should of gotten a small dog but god gives us what we need at the time given. I kept her all 5 out of 8 years I known her.

Best to always keep the pets and keep everything the same. If you can't do that and can't afford it. DONT GET PETS OR KIDS. not far to them to not have their needs met.

Road Trip to Oregon

Since we will be moving soon, we decided to drive to Oregon and let me see the place. My husband has been there many times but for me I have never been. I feel a strong connect to Oregon and feel it is the only place I can myself and not feel judged. I feel it is the only place I can do my homestead and raise a family one day.

We decided that we are going to rent a SUV to drive there so we can sleep in the car with our lovely dog, Tiffany. It will be a practice run as well to make sure we can drive it or to see how long I can drive it before I am too tired. Also we must map out stops along the way about every 4 hours to let the humans and animals move around.

Planning a long distance move is hard. Thankfully we can do this practice run. This run will help us mark clean bathrooms, clean rest stops, places to eat, and places we can sleep at with the car with no problems. We also have to consider the time we have to leave. The best time to leave would be at Midnight. Most of the traffic doesn't happen but still dangerous with drunk drivers. I pray nothing happens.

We will have to sleep during the day of course to make this practice run work and when we do the real move. Thank you for who ever made the company Upack.com because they make it simple to move. I already packed most if not all our things. Next is quote of how much it will be to get the cubes.

This trip back to Oregon makes me so happy. Last time I was in Oregon, I got into the cold ocean in the middle of winter at 12 years old and gave myself to the lord. I plan to do the same thing this year once we move. I will return to the coast and give myself to my husband and the lord again. This may be weird to some people but to me this is the path for me.

The Start of the Beginning

There are always steps to a new life. Even before you were first born, there was steps that it took to make you inside your mother's belly. Steps I am taking now are to make sure moving to our new home is simple and easy. I wish all things were simple like my mother understanding the computer but it isn't sadly. I never feel alone now in my new start to a new life. Sometimes I do but that is apart of growing up.

Removing stuff that takes up too much of your time that damages you instead of helping you. I walked away from social sites from chatroom like tinychat to profile social sites like facebook. I quit them all because nothing was private no more. I couldn't control who knew me or not. It seem like everyone was a friend or trying to add me as a friend to get to another friend. None of it was really friendship. Plus who on God's green earth really has 300 plus friends? Please, are they really your friend?

I ask God this, he gave me voice to understand what is a friend and what isn't a friend. I felt like my answers were clear after reading...Ecclesiasticus, I was reading chapters 1 through 21 in my Jerusalem Bible 1966 copyright. Reason why I said which one I have is because I like this bible, I understand it. The worst thing is to not understand what you are reading. This I understand and love to read out loud.

Friends I had for many years I learn were never there when I needed them the most. When I was about to give up my life and just quit at trying to do my best. My two best friends made my boyfriend at the time spin his money on them and forget about me. Depressed wishing to see my pets that he had at his house. My kitties whom I love so much. My friends used my boyfriend at the time so much...my boyfriend finally understood what was happening, he was being to nice and too friendly to them.

Now that boyfriend whom is my husband knows better than not to listen to me when I cry out with warning. He knows to take care of me and make me happy before anyone else. He as also made a lot of joy with my new friend I care about. Sadly, even with these new friends you will always find some who envy you at every turn. I keep asking God why my brothers and some of my friends envy me. Though they hurt me I still care about them enough to still pray for them.

Sitting here I never know what or why I am talking to this computer. This blogger where people can read. I do not think anyone would get much out of what I say. Maybe someone will but everyone says that who blogs. My world is starting to turn upside down with my new life around the corner. From a new first husband, two new fur babies in the family, new job, and new location to live is so much at once. But still such a blessing from the Lord of lords.

God has blessed me with a wonderful life. That has made me stronger in many ways. Even when it comes to dealing with such personal needs. God has given me everything I wanted even though I have messed up because I still believed. I still turned back to him and said like he was my own flesh father "You know Father you are right". God has always been right. Though I do not know my own father, I do know God. I know he loves me and watches over me with his angels.

Friday, August 12, 2016

May The Blessings Rain

In my life, I guess you could say, I was a sinner or unbeliever. I honestly, had a different view than others and still do to this day. Though I read my Bible more often and study more cultures now that I have started woman hood at age 25 years old. Married right before the age of 25 years old, I married the right man for the right reasons. I wasn't alone in doing this but I did not have my mother or other family members help with my decision. I turned to the Jerusalem Bible year 1966 copyrighted. A church website lead me to buy that addition of the bible. Inside was the last name of my family tree, a missing link to who I am.

Since marriage, it has been very strange learning my place as a woman. With my husband being a believer, I had to learn what it meant within the bindings of this bible, to be a woman, to be a wife, and to be a mother. I learned how to forgive and forget what has harmed me so I can move on and be blessed with no pain. Yet, some days is harder than the others. I feel God is playing with my life at times, and though I feel that way, I laugh with God because it was a funny part of my life. I laugh during it and after the bad or good event. I guess I learned to see everything as a blessing because after so long now, all I see are blessings.

I feel God's warmth in my heart and I feel the holy mother carry me when I need the extra help from a mother. I feel protected my the angels God leads. I feel safe holding my bible and saying goodnight Lord of lords. Though do I go to church. No I do not...yet. I have never found a church that made me feel home. I finally found my way to my husband and to the Lord of lords. So I wait and see what God has waiting for me when I move. I wait to see what blessings rain on me for waiting and being calm.

My current reading is Ecclesiasticus and then I am not sure what is next. God tells me what I must learn next for he is my teacher of this world. I love my bible, it tells me all I need to know when I make it relate to my current world I live in. Though this book is very old and written in a old time which has not been forgotten but isn't around no more. This world is much different and richer of new technology and medicine. I never understood why people like my mother hate technology then would buy the nicest laptop of the time she got it and then destroy when another can use it. I try to not be bitter but how can I handle such things I ask God. How Can I handle this small minded thinking? I was told many chapters later by reading all of Ecclesiasticus I know, to petty them and pray for them. For they do not get to enjoy this world for they are stuck and need prayer.

I can only pray and not judge but it is hard not to judge. Since it is the easiest thing to do is be fast to judge. Now a days no one thinks before speaking, tweeting, facebooking, and posting. I pray for those who have depression from not getting what they need. I pray for those to learn to love who and what they have within themselves. Why? maybe one day this place would be a better place. No matter the views, maybe if we all hoped for the best and saw the best in everyone we will only see the best and then try to do our best.